Nine months ago I had a stroke and life changed for me and
my whole family. Keep in mind, that I didn't know what was really going on (in
my head things were normal). Much to my surprise, I lost my right side
mobility, I couldn't say anything but "hi ya" and couldn't even hold
a pen, brush or anything like that.
It has been a long road, and I want to thank everyone that
has supported me, but also need to say, there's a long way to go.
I can't do basic math without a calculator and figuring it
out. English skills are very limited right now because it takes me some time to
figure out what I want to say. Discussions with Richard and the kids are time
consuming because I can't speak fast, and in this day and age, you have to
speak quickly to get your point across.
I'm not comfortable to travel alone, because I can get lost
in the airport not to mention I am quite slow since the stroke. I used to be a
property manager for almost 20 years, so much of the job is communication and
budgets and site visits, I know there is no way today I could even touch the
job I used to do.
People say I am more quiet today than before, that's because
I have to think about what I'm going to say and how it will come across.
Richard says I seem angry sometimes but I'm not, the emotions are disconnected
at times. It feels like I have no emotion but at other times the emotions are
very extreme.
I used to love music, now I can't even have the radio on
because it clutters my thinking. Piano - guess not - I can't formulate the
notes to make sense.
There is a lot to do before I am even part way to what I
used to be, and the reality is, I may never get back to 100%, so I will
continue to go to therapy and do the very best that I can, and hopefully I will
get there (or as close to it) as I can.
