Today I went to my one on one therapy and then to my group therapy. It's my group therapy that was interesting today. Not that one in one therapy isn't interesting but my group therapy, Higher Level Aphasia, offered to me interesting feedback that I'm not sure is helpful or just acknowledges what I'm beginning to understand myself.

Aphasia can't be cure. That's all I have to say about it. There is no drug or surgery that can cure aphasia. The only thing I can do is use my remaining language ability or the class and teacher can help me overcome the communication problems. Hmmmmm.

What it mean's to me will be, I may never get back to the same way I used to be. It's not a big deal when talking among my family members or speak very hesitantly because I have to think about what I want to say. But it will impact me professionally and what I can anticipate as far as what I can do. I may not be able to talk on the phone to clients, I may not be able to participate in meetings because I can't think of what I want to say or the moment goes by too fast for me to get my head around it.

I'm not fast enough to speak to my old boss or my existing boss, or old co-workers without them waiting for me to find the right words or I simply say "uh huh" because I can't manage the things I would like to say. I do feel bad because I know they are waiting on me to respond or to say something funny or to share a thought.

It's frustrating to me not to speak or taking so long to think if I should even try to speak because it takes too long to figure out the words and if I can say it clearly. I'm not too sure.

The one thing I do know, is that it likely will never get back to where I thought it would be.