(June 1-7, 2015)

I went for a couple of tests this week to find out why I had the stroke.

First, can I just say, anyone who has been in the hospital for something like child birth or has some paralysis of some kind - it's really rough.  You have to rely on everyone around you, I mean EVERYONE.  When I think back now, I don't know how I came through it.  Mainly I think it's because you don't know, at the time, that you're not "normal", everything seems normal to you.

I had to wear a diaper (I know, GROSS!), because I couldn't get up and I couldn't feel when I had to pee (part of the paralysis).  Even eating - I couldn't "operate" the fork or spoon to feed myself.  I couldn't shower without the nurse's help (basically I sat in a wheelchair and the nurse would shower me).

That first weekend, my cousin Michelle, and my friend Sonia (she flew up from Texas to make sure I was okay), family and my bosses from work were there too.  Again, Sonia was crying when she first got to the hospital room (again, I didn't know "why").  Richard called Michelle after I had the stroke, and she was crying at work (we talked about it the weekend of March 26, 2017).  Something I can't comment on because I didn't "know" what was going on.

It's weird, but I remember when Keven and Tami (from Accliamed) were there.  Tami brought my paperwork for unemployment insurance and I remember thinking "well that's dumb, because I'm going back to work in a couple of weeks".  If I only knew!  Even now, two year's after, I still have a lot to do to get back to where I can do the things that I used to do before the stroke.  I guess the mind and body know what is best for me because again, all I wanted to do was sleep and recover.

At that time, my Auntie Joy, was in the hospital too - she had cancer.  Even though she was going through her own pain, she and I got to visit each other when someone could wheel my chair down to see her.  Auntie Joy was on the 4th floor too, just in a different section of the hospital.  My brother Keith came down to see me too (he and I are not that close) but he came when I had a test the next day, and I wasn't do very well because of the test.  When Keith came into my room, he came over the hug me and I started bawling.  It took me a while to compose myself.

I have to say, my friend Pam (Wood) Thompson, came to see me as well. We hadn't seen each other for a few years, but she came when she heard the news.  I also have to say, Pam is hilarious!!!  She knew just what to say to make me laugh when I needed it.  I can never repay her for the times she came to visit me at the Grey Nun's and the Glenrose!  I needed Pam to keep my spirits up!

The Chaplain, Brian Greenwood, came to talk to me at the Grey Nun's.  We were talking, while he was talking he said "oh you're Rae" and he made an "X" with his arms (it was something back in the day that my friend's used to do).  I felt bad because I knew I should know him from somewhere but I couldn't remember where from.  Again, it was something I couldn't remember no matter how I tried because of the stroke.  Now, I can remember, I was friends with Karen and Brian (I actually was the Guest Book attendant at their  wedding).  It bothers me a bit now, because I couldn't remember him when he came to talk to me.

#stroke #brain injury #greynuns