Showing posts with label #braincarecentre. Show all posts
Showing posts with label #braincarecentre. Show all posts

Wednesday, 15 May 2019

And, Still I Rise...



The above picture is a new tattoo I have, "And, Still I Rise".

I have taken Lent off from social media - firstly, because I wasn't doing so good with depression and I really didn't want to have a lot to do with anyone; and secondly, I figured the time away would give me some time to get over the depression and mostly what can I do now with the brain injury.  Now, I wish I could tell all of you that I'm doing much better and I know where I'm "going" now...but alas, I can't.  I'm still somewhat depressed, mostly because I still don't know what to do with myself.  Plus in my mind (yes, I know it is wrong as well), if I can't get "paid" - it feels like I am not a contributing member of society (again, I KNOW this is not right to think).  I am volunteering with the Edmonton Humane Society and I really enjoy it.  But it bother's me that I can find a part-time PAYING job to contribute to our monthly bills (but that is the way it is today, and hopefully, it won't be forever).

Anyways, back to my tattoo - it says a lot.  I had it placed on my right side of my clavicle so I could see it everyday when I get out of the shower...and, still I rise.  My sister-in-law, Terry, saw it and she started tearing up when she saw it (and that means the world to me because amid it all - my family and friends still keep me going 💕).  It means a lot to me, as well, because really, even on days when I am feeling a bit bummed out about things, I still have the gumption to get up, do the homework I have to improve myself, I am continuing to look for some sort of "paying" job and I'm doing all I can to keep the depression away.  It's a journey that's for sure, and I will keep on going through the good times and the not so good times!

Thursday, 11 January 2018

Another New Year!

Well, it's a New Year and I'm still recovering from my stroke.  I haven't written anything for the last two months.  There are a number of reasons, some involve other people and some were just me feeling down about plateauing in my recovery.  But again, this is a journey and I can't expect to be 100% with my moods all the time.  This may be a lengthy post, but there is really a lot to say.

I'm still not working.  That is quite depressing for me because a lot of myself was because of my work.  I loved being a Property Manager, and the fact is (at least right now), I can't go back into the field that I love so much. So I have to look for something that is rewarding for me AND something that doesn't cause me too much stress.  Sounds easy, right?  WRONG!!!  I have drafted (and redrafted and redrafted, again) my resume.  The problem is that I can't work very well with the public after about 2:00 or 3:00 pm, because I get tired and then I have a lot of trouble finding words.  That is a HUGE problem for me, because I enjoy working with the public.  Most people don't, but I do!  The funny thing is though, when I am at home, vacationing and things like that, I like my solitude 😊.  I like spending time by myself or with my immediate family.  I have a few friends, but there aren't a lot of people that I hand around with.  Now some people may say, "That's since you've had the stroke".  But it's not, I like doing things with a small group of people even before I had the stroke.

I really have to make an effort to keep in contact with people now, because it can be hard to find words and I really feel I don't have a lot to contribute because I am at home and most of my friends were from the office.  But I have to try, so this year, I am going to make the effort to speak to my friends on the phone and I will make the effort to go out to lunch/supper or even just a coffee to keep up with them.  Also, it can be hard because I was the one who supported people when they were feeling low and needed help with something.  It is hard when the shoe is on the other foot.  So I have to talk the them and explain when I am feeling down or discouraged, so that they can help.

I have finished all the courses that the Glenrose has to offer, so just before Christmas, I went to the Brain Care Centre.  Now most people won't think that's too big of a deal, but can I just say, it was a big deal to me.  It is a big deal because, and I have said it before, the stroke caused me to have a brain injury...it won't get better...and that's what I have to deal with now.  It has taken me a long time to actually admit it to myself.  The Brain Care Centre has a lot of options, so now I've had the initial interview and they will contact me this month to come in and get started (hopefully) on finding something in the "job world", that I can do.  I am really looking forward to meeting some more with them.  There are also other resources:

Canadian Council on Rehabilitation and Work (www.ccrw.org)
EmployAbilities (www.employabilities.ab.ca)
BGS Career and Corporate Development (Facebook BGSCareerandCorporateDevelopment)

Thank goodness for all of these because at least I know I have other places I can go to find something that I can do to get back into the work place.

So some of my "goals" for this New Year are to:

1.  Continue doing my "home work" at home to improve my skills (interpersonal and professional skills),

2.  I will continue (I have to get back into this once is warms up a little) to make the effort to speak to people, over the phone or in person, because it really isn't very good to keep to yourself too much,

3.  I will continue to look for a job, but I won't settle for just anything.  I want to work with the public in whatever way I can,

4.  And I will try (very hard 😏) to continue writing in my blog, even when I am feeling down or discouraged, because it is important that I continue in this journey and sharing it with anyone who wants to read it 👍!!!!

Well that's all for now, take care and HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!