Something to think about...

The Canadian Disability Tax Credit, WOW, who ever would have ever thought I (at the age of 51) would need this.  But that is what I did this week, I took it to my doctor to fill out so that Richard could apply for it on my behalf.  That is how much life has changed for me since I had the stroke.  I’m not going to go into all that because quite frankly, if your reading this, you already know and those who aren’t, well it doesn’t really matter to me.  Really, now I have to get used to THAT!

Now there are some good things (quite a few, actually) that have been going on as well.  I have an appointment with The Brain Centre with respect to my computer skills, hopefully they will be able to give me some “cheat sheets” that I can quickly look up things that I used to know in Word and Excel.  It is really difficult for me to “know” I used to be able to do something before the stroke but I can’t process step easily now.  I am still waiting for a callback from the Women’s Support Group at the Brain Centre but hopefully I should get a call in the next couple of weeks, it will definitely help me to get around people that have a brain injury and how they are coping with the difficulties now.

Another thing is that I have started a part-time, Accounts Payable Clerk position!  It really is nice to get back into the work-force.  Now, I definitely can’t go back to a full-time Property Manager, but this position will challenge me, and I have many years with budgets and all the stuff that goes with it, so I really think this is a great position for me right now.  The company is going to launch a new software system next month, and I’m looking forward to helping with that too.  I can only hope things will come back to me, although it may be slower that I’m used to…but that is okay with me, at least I am getting out there.

There are several things that I could be unhappy about, but I have to think ahead, and I would rather think of the “glass being half full” than thinking of the “glass being half empty”.  Also, there are a lot of things that haven’t changed, yes Allan Carr, I am sarcastic (when I choose to be) and really, I do love to laugh (at myself and others 😉) because life is really to short to do anything but look on the bright side!!

Another New Year!

Well, it's a New Year and I'm still recovering from my stroke.  I haven't written anything for the last two months.  There are a number of reasons, some involve other people and some were just me feeling down about plateauing in my recovery.  But again, this is a journey and I can't expect to be 100% with my moods all the time.  This may be a lengthy post, but there is really a lot to say.

I'm still not working.  That is quite depressing for me because a lot of myself was because of my work.  I loved being a Property Manager, and the fact is (at least right now), I can't go back into the field that I love so much. So I have to look for something that is rewarding for me AND something that doesn't cause me too much stress.  Sounds easy, right?  WRONG!!!  I have drafted (and redrafted and redrafted, again) my resume.  The problem is that I can't work very well with the public after about 2:00 or 3:00 pm, because I get tired and then I have a lot of trouble finding words.  That is a HUGE problem for me, because I enjoy working with the public.  Most people don't, but I do!  The funny thing is though, when I am at home, vacationing and things like that, I like my solitude 😊.  I like spending time by myself or with my immediate family.  I have a few friends, but there aren't a lot of people that I hand around with.  Now some people may say, "That's since you've had the stroke".  But it's not, I like doing things with a small group of people even before I had the stroke.

I really have to make an effort to keep in contact with people now, because it can be hard to find words and I really feel I don't have a lot to contribute because I am at home and most of my friends were from the office.  But I have to try, so this year, I am going to make the effort to speak to my friends on the phone and I will make the effort to go out to lunch/supper or even just a coffee to keep up with them.  Also, it can be hard because I was the one who supported people when they were feeling low and needed help with something.  It is hard when the shoe is on the other foot.  So I have to talk the them and explain when I am feeling down or discouraged, so that they can help.

I have finished all the courses that the Glenrose has to offer, so just before Christmas, I went to the Brain Care Centre.  Now most people won't think that's too big of a deal, but can I just say, it was a big deal to me.  It is a big deal because, and I have said it before, the stroke caused me to have a brain injury...it won't get better...and that's what I have to deal with now.  It has taken me a long time to actually admit it to myself.  The Brain Care Centre has a lot of options, so now I've had the initial interview and they will contact me this month to come in and get started (hopefully) on finding something in the "job world", that I can do.  I am really looking forward to meeting some more with them.  There are also other resources:

Canadian Council on Rehabilitation and Work (www.ccrw.org)
EmployAbilities (www.employabilities.ab.ca)
BGS Career and Corporate Development (Facebook BGSCareerandCorporateDevelopment)

Thank goodness for all of these because at least I know I have other places I can go to find something that I can do to get back into the work place.

So some of my "goals" for this New Year are to:

1.  Continue doing my "home work" at home to improve my skills (interpersonal and professional skills),

2.  I will continue (I have to get back into this once is warms up a little) to make the effort to speak to people, over the phone or in person, because it really isn't very good to keep to yourself too much,

3.  I will continue to look for a job, but I won't settle for just anything.  I want to work with the public in whatever way I can,

4.  And I will try (very hard 😏) to continue writing in my blog, even when I am feeling down or discouraged, because it is important that I continue in this journey and sharing it with anyone who wants to read it 👍!!!!

Well that's all for now, take care and HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!

It has been a couple of weeks since I've written in here.  That's because of a few things that have been going on:

1.  Zach moved out last Tuesday, and the living/dining room was a mess because of all the boxes he was packing to go.

2.  I went to Brooks last weekend to visit Michelle, my cousin.

3.  I really didn't feel like writing anything because I was feeling a bit depressed or sad b,ecause it's taking me longer (a lot longer) to recover from the stroke than I ever thought it would.

Sometimes it seems like everyone around me doesn't see the disabilities like I do (and trust me - it is a brain injury I am suffering from now - and still recovering from...quite possibly for the rest of my life).  Everyone is cheering me on, or they say "you can't even tell you had a stroke".  All I can say to myself is "Yaaaaa right!"  But I'm not going to get into all that (right now at least 😮).

The one thing I did receive in the mail was our passports (Richard, Zach, Kennedy and me).  Now, before I had the stroke, it was really quite easy to get them - you just filled out the form, the passport office would received them, and then you'd receive them back in the mail - quite easy, right?!  Not any more!!!!

I had to really think about: was I putting everything in to the right place on the passport renewal info, I had to get the right addresses in the right spot, I had to get the positions right (for our jobs) in the right spot, I had to get the reference information as well in the right spot.  It wouldn't have taken me long (before the stroke) - but this time (after the stroke) it really took me a lot of time and effort to get all the information together.  The other thing was the writing - it took me soooooo long to write everything down because of my right side being "slower" than it was before.

One thing this disability, that I now have, has taught me is that no matter what, you have to keep trying when things look bad (or different than it used to look).  The "reward" of doing all the applications for the passport renewal is that WE GOT THEM!!!!  YES!!!!!!!!!  They didn't come back looking for explanations or anything!  I also got them for 10 YEARS (which means I don't have to think of them until 2028 😀).

So even when things aren't going the way as I want them too, or if it seems it is taking me a bit longer that I think it should be going - there is always something positive in this recovery of mine!

This is a tattoo I have on my left shoulder (I am the hero of this story). I got it a few years ago, but it means more to me now since I've had a stroke. I'll tell you why...

I went a couple of weeks ago to Anaheim and to Disneyland and Universal Studios. I love Anaheim and Richard and I went the October after I had the stroke but we didn't go to Disneyland because I couldn't walk very well and I didn't do very good with crowds back then.

This time we went with the Makarowski"s. It was a surprise for Ken, but Pat traveled from Switzerland for his 50th birthday...an I must say...he was very surprised!

We spent 3 days at Disneyland and California Adventure and 1 day at Universal Studios...it was FABULOUS! They were long days and later on during the days, I could feel myself slowing down a bit and I could also feel my right side dragging down a bit...but you know what? I did just fine. If I could not keep up, that's fine, I kept all the people in-sight and caught up to them at the next ride. I must say though, I slept really hard when we got back to the house we rented 😀.

So I think about our trip when I don't think things are moving as quickly as I think they should be moving, and regardless of how I'm feeling, I have come a long way in the past two years and I can only get stronger and my mind will catch up if I keep working on things!

So I would remind anyone who has some sort of disability (physical or mental) keeping working, you are the hero of your story!