Something to think about...

The Canadian Disability Tax Credit, WOW, who ever would have ever thought I (at the age of 51) would need this.  But that is what I did this week, I took it to my doctor to fill out so that Richard could apply for it on my behalf.  That is how much life has changed for me since I had the stroke.  I’m not going to go into all that because quite frankly, if your reading this, you already know and those who aren’t, well it doesn’t really matter to me.  Really, now I have to get used to THAT!

Now there are some good things (quite a few, actually) that have been going on as well.  I have an appointment with The Brain Centre with respect to my computer skills, hopefully they will be able to give me some “cheat sheets” that I can quickly look up things that I used to know in Word and Excel.  It is really difficult for me to “know” I used to be able to do something before the stroke but I can’t process step easily now.  I am still waiting for a callback from the Women’s Support Group at the Brain Centre but hopefully I should get a call in the next couple of weeks, it will definitely help me to get around people that have a brain injury and how they are coping with the difficulties now.

Another thing is that I have started a part-time, Accounts Payable Clerk position!  It really is nice to get back into the work-force.  Now, I definitely can’t go back to a full-time Property Manager, but this position will challenge me, and I have many years with budgets and all the stuff that goes with it, so I really think this is a great position for me right now.  The company is going to launch a new software system next month, and I’m looking forward to helping with that too.  I can only hope things will come back to me, although it may be slower that I’m used to…but that is okay with me, at least I am getting out there.

There are several things that I could be unhappy about, but I have to think ahead, and I would rather think of the “glass being half full” than thinking of the “glass being half empty”.  Also, there are a lot of things that haven’t changed, yes Allan Carr, I am sarcastic (when I choose to be) and really, I do love to laugh (at myself and others 😉) because life is really to short to do anything but look on the bright side!!

It's Heart & Stroke Month

It is that time of year again, February is the Heart and Stroke funding campaign.  I didn't think much about it, before I had the stroke.  Now, it's a little different.  My husband will be out and about in our neighborhood to see if people will give to this cause, and I hope he does very well at it.

I know, there are a lot of charities that everyone gives to, so if you can, please remember this one when people come to your door to give.  That's all I've got to say 👍.

The past couple of month's have been some what difficult for me, because of a number of things.  But I'm really trying to make a difference; I am talking to people that I sort of cut out of my life for a bit; I am back on the hunt for a part-time job (so if you hear of anything...😉) and I am going down to Texas, in March, to see my friend, Sonia (Ramona and Denise are going down there as well).  I am also making a concerted effort to go for lunch or coffee with the people I was trying to avoid, due to my stroke.

I have to realize that yes, things have changed with me, BUT my friends are around me and I believe (actually I know 😮), I have told enough people about my stroke, the difficulties I have now and the fact that I have plateaued. Everyone just wants me to talk to them, if I am going through a tough time.  It is so important to keep the lines of communication open and that means through the good time 😊AND bad times 😟.  So if there is anyone that I have seemed to mistreat or I have seemed to "disappear" from, I am so sorry and I hope you can forgive me for not speaking or talking to you.

Another New Year!

Well, it's a New Year and I'm still recovering from my stroke.  I haven't written anything for the last two months.  There are a number of reasons, some involve other people and some were just me feeling down about plateauing in my recovery.  But again, this is a journey and I can't expect to be 100% with my moods all the time.  This may be a lengthy post, but there is really a lot to say.

I'm still not working.  That is quite depressing for me because a lot of myself was because of my work.  I loved being a Property Manager, and the fact is (at least right now), I can't go back into the field that I love so much. So I have to look for something that is rewarding for me AND something that doesn't cause me too much stress.  Sounds easy, right?  WRONG!!!  I have drafted (and redrafted and redrafted, again) my resume.  The problem is that I can't work very well with the public after about 2:00 or 3:00 pm, because I get tired and then I have a lot of trouble finding words.  That is a HUGE problem for me, because I enjoy working with the public.  Most people don't, but I do!  The funny thing is though, when I am at home, vacationing and things like that, I like my solitude 😊.  I like spending time by myself or with my immediate family.  I have a few friends, but there aren't a lot of people that I hand around with.  Now some people may say, "That's since you've had the stroke".  But it's not, I like doing things with a small group of people even before I had the stroke.

I really have to make an effort to keep in contact with people now, because it can be hard to find words and I really feel I don't have a lot to contribute because I am at home and most of my friends were from the office.  But I have to try, so this year, I am going to make the effort to speak to my friends on the phone and I will make the effort to go out to lunch/supper or even just a coffee to keep up with them.  Also, it can be hard because I was the one who supported people when they were feeling low and needed help with something.  It is hard when the shoe is on the other foot.  So I have to talk the them and explain when I am feeling down or discouraged, so that they can help.

I have finished all the courses that the Glenrose has to offer, so just before Christmas, I went to the Brain Care Centre.  Now most people won't think that's too big of a deal, but can I just say, it was a big deal to me.  It is a big deal because, and I have said it before, the stroke caused me to have a brain injury...it won't get better...and that's what I have to deal with now.  It has taken me a long time to actually admit it to myself.  The Brain Care Centre has a lot of options, so now I've had the initial interview and they will contact me this month to come in and get started (hopefully) on finding something in the "job world", that I can do.  I am really looking forward to meeting some more with them.  There are also other resources:

Canadian Council on Rehabilitation and Work (www.ccrw.org)
EmployAbilities (www.employabilities.ab.ca)
BGS Career and Corporate Development (Facebook BGSCareerandCorporateDevelopment)

Thank goodness for all of these because at least I know I have other places I can go to find something that I can do to get back into the work place.

So some of my "goals" for this New Year are to:

1.  Continue doing my "home work" at home to improve my skills (interpersonal and professional skills),

2.  I will continue (I have to get back into this once is warms up a little) to make the effort to speak to people, over the phone or in person, because it really isn't very good to keep to yourself too much,

3.  I will continue to look for a job, but I won't settle for just anything.  I want to work with the public in whatever way I can,

4.  And I will try (very hard 😏) to continue writing in my blog, even when I am feeling down or discouraged, because it is important that I continue in this journey and sharing it with anyone who wants to read it 👍!!!!

Well that's all for now, take care and HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!

Another long time since I've written in here.  Well I was employed for six weeks (yep, that's all), I gave my notice two weeks ago for a few reasons:

1.  Talking on the phone was challenging and especially later in the day;

2.  There wasn't much for me to do throughout the day, the work was off and on - I think it would have worked out better for me if I could have worked part-time;

3.  It really was too much for me since I've had the stroke (and that took me by surprise and it's discouraging for me to admit to myself and to all of you 😢).

Once I got in the position, it really became obvious to me that things really aren't the way they're supposed to be since the stroke.  I had to constantly write down EVERYTHING, because I couldn't remember simple things in Word, Excel, Access and even email. When my supervisor would show me something, I had to ask her again (and again, etc. - well you know what I mean).  This was very difficult for me because before the stroke people would come to me and ask me how to do things...now it was really difficult for me to even remember what I had to do.

So I've had to really think about what and how much I can do now.  The first thing is - really I can only work part-time because quite simply I get too tired and I can't focus on things later in the day.  The other thing is - I have to look for a job the doesn't require me to speak for a long period of time - again, my speech starts to slur and I can't find the words I need to, to communicate to others.

Again, I have a brain injury and life has changed drastically for me.  I thought it would go back to the way I was...I won't any more and I have to get used to that.  I have my husband and family around me...I'm so thankful of that.  But I can't sit at home because it frustrates me with the kids gone and there's only so much I can do around here.  So if anyone knows of something I could do i.e., volunteer work, working part-time in the morning...send me your suggestions...I could use them...

This is a tattoo I have on my left shoulder (I am the hero of this story). I got it a few years ago, but it means more to me now since I've had a stroke. I'll tell you why...

I went a couple of weeks ago to Anaheim and to Disneyland and Universal Studios. I love Anaheim and Richard and I went the October after I had the stroke but we didn't go to Disneyland because I couldn't walk very well and I didn't do very good with crowds back then.

This time we went with the Makarowski"s. It was a surprise for Ken, but Pat traveled from Switzerland for his 50th birthday...an I must say...he was very surprised!

We spent 3 days at Disneyland and California Adventure and 1 day at Universal Studios...it was FABULOUS! They were long days and later on during the days, I could feel myself slowing down a bit and I could also feel my right side dragging down a bit...but you know what? I did just fine. If I could not keep up, that's fine, I kept all the people in-sight and caught up to them at the next ride. I must say though, I slept really hard when we got back to the house we rented 😀.

So I think about our trip when I don't think things are moving as quickly as I think they should be moving, and regardless of how I'm feeling, I have come a long way in the past two years and I can only get stronger and my mind will catch up if I keep working on things!

So I would remind anyone who has some sort of disability (physical or mental) keeping working, you are the hero of your story!